I went back, too. Despite the shame, share, share and share…

I Went Back To My Abuser After A Week. This Is Why It’s So Hard For Women To Get Out For Good. By Lauren Wellbank PHOTO COURTESY OF LAUREN WELLBANK This picture is from the after. I’m happy, safe and free. The first time he hit me, we were in the car. There was no warning before his hand flew out and smacked me in the face. … Continue reading I went back, too. Despite the shame, share, share and share…

A New Year…Hope, Love & Laughter

“Today is celebrating the power within the new beginnings, the miracles that turn the piece of wood into fire and turn the bare branches of trees to new leaves. It is one of the most complex celebration of humanity. 7 elements of the haft sein speaks of 7 level of evolutionary process of creation. The most important of all the seven are the fire and … Continue reading A New Year…Hope, Love & Laughter

‘We Will Give Him Nothing. Not Even His Name.’

I have gone through every emotion possible in the last 2 plus years, transitioning from anger since sitting with the pain was too much to endure to wanting the entire world to know his name so that he could face what he did to acceptance, back to anger and round and round and round. I’ve evolved since then and recognize even thinking, let alone saying … Continue reading ‘We Will Give Him Nothing. Not Even His Name.’

Exorcising the perpetrator from my system.

      I went for a walk/run today on the national mall today – Something I loved to do – Sadly, running continues to be a struggle due to the extreme nausea I still experience.  The nausea is one of the ways my brain now reacts to discomfort/being pushed since the trauma was so severe, plus it no longer has my otolith to communicate … Continue reading Exorcising the perpetrator from my system.

I, too, am proud to be me.

Pascal read my mind in expressing how proud I am of myself for continuing to stand up to the perpetrator who assaulted me, and unless you have experienced narcissistic abuse, you don’t understand the complexities of the aftermath especially since most of us are left feeling more alone because of how society judges us. The perpetrator, the violent emotionally inept and disconnected abuser, damaged my … Continue reading I, too, am proud to be me.

How Society Re-Traumatizes Victims After Abuse

How Society Re-Traumatizes Victims After Abuse Kristen Milstead Recovering from an abusive relationship brings on a roller coaster of emotions. For me, it has brought on a lot of guilt and anxiety about how it has impacted my other relationships. It’s one thing to write about it so openly, knowing others who have been through the same thing will read it and relate to it. It’s … Continue reading How Society Re-Traumatizes Victims After Abuse

Why the brain cannot stop thinking about Abuse or Abusers after trauma exposure

Via Flying Monkeys Denied  updated on Friday, November 9, 2018 It’s over. You survived. You faced the Narcissist or Sociopathic predator in real life. You lived, you lost, now what did you learn?   Your brain, scarred by multiple instances of trauma with PTSD, is likely to still be fixated on processing the threat. Obsessing about abuse is normal and healthy — it’s how the body works … Continue reading Why the brain cannot stop thinking about Abuse or Abusers after trauma exposure

The Narcissist is a Chameleon and an Empty Void

Written by   Melanie Tonia Evans The Many Faces of the Narcissist For a long time I have been really astounded and fascinated by the ability of the narcissist to have so many faces. From a personal and professional experience I have witnessed the following over and over: The narcissist can be a completely different person with different people, and the narcissist has the ability to wear … Continue reading The Narcissist is a Chameleon and an Empty Void

Updated 1.20.19 “Drowning” depicts what it was like being with the coward

Ditto! Her description of drowning and paralysis resonated with me. I felt I was drowning and was always panicked, never knowing when the next wave was going to hit.  The darkness and devastation this coward inflicted upon me was life changing, but I am a fighter and I am someone who fixes things.  I am hanging on because I am determined to make this nightmare … Continue reading Updated 1.20.19 “Drowning” depicts what it was like being with the coward

#ChangeHappensHere

NO MORE!!! Jessica Livingston, Joyce Gearhart, Roger Massee, Mariette  Vanderzon, Tim Hanson, Sarah Shelquist, Sabrina Moe.  These people chalked up major brain trauma, permanent inner ear damage, PTSD, and much much more to my deserving having been attacked or that the assault was circumstantial. I refuse to be shamed and bullied.  If they want to say it, then they should proudly own it. Enablers and flying monkeys are … Continue reading #ChangeHappensHere

Why Do People Believe Narcissists Rather Than Their Victims?

Someday soon I am going to write a book on the journey I am on because I want the world to know the depth of abuse I endured and continue to endure.  What is happening to me should never be allowed to happen to any other victim. Why Do People Believe Narcissists Rather Than Their Victims? By Shahida Arabi, February 24th 2018 February 24th 2018 … Continue reading Why Do People Believe Narcissists Rather Than Their Victims?

Narcissist’s wicked mind and their make-believe world of illusions

Inside the narcissist’s wicked mind and their make-believe world of illusions via Higher Perspective  Oct. 18, 2018 09:30PM EST Narcissists are everywhere you turn in life. You exercise alongside them at the gym, chat with them at the grocery store, worship with them at church, cheer on your kids together at youth sporting events. They radiate qualities you admire and aspire to like confidence, a … Continue reading Narcissist’s wicked mind and their make-believe world of illusions

Below clavicle is the chest, above it the neck. Facts vs Gaslighting

Sharing the narrative behind the screenshots and photos is always reassuring and helpful in deciphering fact from fiction – I had never experienced gaslighting, and it has been the most difficult aspect of the emotional abuse I endured, to overcome.  The opportunities he continues to present to me will play a major part in being vindicated.  Never again will he control what I think or feel. … Continue reading Below clavicle is the chest, above it the neck. Facts vs Gaslighting

How Narcissists Play the Victim and Twist the Story

How Narcissists Play the Victim and Twist the Story By Darius Cikanavicius, Author, Certified Coach Last updated: 5 Nov 2018 People with strong narcissistic tendencies are known for certain destructive social patterns. Anybody who has had the misfortune of dealing with these types of people may notice that whenever there’s a conflict or any type of disagreement, they tend to act in an abhorrent yet predictable manner. … Continue reading How Narcissists Play the Victim and Twist the Story

Psychology Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

Updated on March 21, 2018 Sparkster Publishing  Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of “Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD.”   Pernicious Abuse It goes unrecognized but it exists. It exists on an extremely covert level. It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem. No evidence of … Continue reading Psychology Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

How to survive gaslighting: when manipulation erases your reality

He told me the bruises on my body could have happened as a result of my bumping into things.  I looked at him, speechless.  When I was able to speak I asked if he was serious, which he responded to by babbling on.  A few days when I called him on it, he simply denied having ever suggested the bruises were not real.   Ariel … Continue reading How to survive gaslighting: when manipulation erases your reality

Silent Scars of Domestic Abuse

She is in DC – I think I will try and get in touch with her…I am eager to share want my story because it is so outrageous.  The abuse of process is despicable and it’s a story that should serve as lessons for law enforcement to learn from.  The abuser who maimed me should be in jail. August 25, 2018 / 4 Comments / in Survivor Series By Mildred … Continue reading Silent Scars of Domestic Abuse

Why recovering from the abuse can be so hard…

Came across this on moving forward after Narcissistic Abuse.  Verified by Psychology Today Peg Streep Friend me on Faceook Why Recovering From the Narcissist in Your Life Is So Hard Plus 4 strategies to help you recover Posted Jun 20, 2016 “Get over this? How do you get over this? He courted me, wooed me, told my widowed mother that she’d never have to worry about … Continue reading Why recovering from the abuse can be so hard…

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Narcissist

The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Narcissist Elizabeth MikaMay 13, 2016 Written with Frederick Burkle Narcissism in America is all the rage these days — even more so than usual, and that really says something — not in the least because of the popular GOP presidential candidate who is the center of media’s attention, a subject of dinner talks, friendly chats at the post office, local KKK meetings, neo-Nazi … Continue reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Narcissist

If You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts, Please Read This — Fox&Co. Mental Health

“When you suffered it all, and your spirit is breaking, you’re growing desperate from the fight. Remember you’re loved, and you always will be.” – Chester Bennington, The Messenger via If You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts, Please Read This — Fox&Co. Mental Health Continue reading If You’re Having Suicidal Thoughts, Please Read This — Fox&Co. Mental Health

Shame on you for telling me to “act” to put you out of your “misery!

No, he didn’t care then and he doesn’t care now about my life or my children’s lives.  Otherwise he wouldn’t be such a barbarian – Our lives are worthless to him and his enablers. If you are experiencing the same, know you aren’t alone nor was it your imagination. Hang in there because you are the best reason to live. First and foremost, I still … Continue reading Shame on you for telling me to “act” to put you out of your “misery!

Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome is Like Being in a Cult

Via  Fairytales Shadows Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome is Like Being in a Cult Kristen Milstead Both cult victim syndrome and narcissistic abuse victim syndrome are horrific and can have lasting and traumatizing effects on the victim. No one wants to be a victim of a cult any more than they want to be a victim of narcissistic abuse. The one advantage that cult victim syndrome has … Continue reading Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome is Like Being in a Cult

He raped my soul, my heart, gutted and disabled me.

His first email was a lie and everything after was too.  He didn’t exist.  He is not real yet he wants to continue to control me.  He wanted me to kill myself and said so in his text, in order to put him out of his misery. I am grateful he continues to publicly document his happy life that consists of traveling and being active.  It … Continue reading He raped my soul, my heart, gutted and disabled me.

The Gift of the Narcissist…Should You Choose To Accept It

 by Patrick John Coleman    Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found.’ -Pema Chodron Narcissism is vastly misunderstood in our society. Many confuse it with simple vanity or a super-high interest in oneself. While you should have a healthy interest in yourself and be a little selfish when a narcissist appears in your life … Continue reading The Gift of the Narcissist…Should You Choose To Accept It

Careful…You don’t want to end up like me.

I’m here to share my story of abuse with my ex abuser, Vincent C. Beggs, Wells Fargo VP, with the hope for others to share their story without fear and the hope that someday we can make shaming the abused a thing of a past. I’m not a jilted lover nor unstable, same word he used to describe his ex wife when we first met … Continue reading Careful…You don’t want to end up like me.

Psychology Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

Updated on March 21, 2018 Sparkster Publishing  Marc Hubs is a writer/researcher on mind, science, and conspiracy. He is the author of “Know Your Enemy: Reflections of NPD.”   Pernicious Abuse It goes unrecognized but it exists. It exists on an extremely covert level. It happens behind the scenes without anyone even being aware of what the problem is; the real problem. No evidence of … Continue reading Psychology Psychological Murder: Death By Covert Abuse

The One Major Thing That Makes Narcissistic Abuse Different — In the Shadows of the Fairy Tale

Narcissists are cruel. Narcissists can belittle, name-call, shame, fluctuate between “honeymoon periods” and “abusive periods,” be controlling and possessive, physically and sexually abuse, ruin someone’s finances, live double lives, and engage in serially cheating. They may do any of these things or all of them, and because of a systematic pattern of behaviors as tipped… via The One Major Thing That Makes Narcissistic Abuse Different — … Continue reading The One Major Thing That Makes Narcissistic Abuse Different — In the Shadows of the Fairy Tale

Sunshine Blogger Award

My thanks WOW! Thank you for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award Pascale – Your note lifted my spirits and put a smile on my face.  For those who aren’t familiar with The Sunshine Blogger Award , the award is “given to bloggers who are deemed to be creative, positive and inspiring while spreading sunshine to the blogging community.” What an honor – Thank you, … Continue reading Sunshine Blogger Award