Careful…You don’t want to end up like me.

I’m here to share my story of abuse with my ex abuser, Vincent C. Beggs, Wells Fargo VP, with the hope for others to share their story without fear and the hope that someday we can make shaming the abused a thing of a past.

I’m not a jilted lover nor unstable, same word he used to describe his ex wife when we first met – I’m a survivor of a 5.5 years of emotional abuse, and a single episode of a violent incident  –  Per his own words, he threw me into the wall of our apartment. The blow to my head caused severe injuries I am still in rehab for, two years later.  Per his own text he ”lost his shit” and the consequences of losing his “shit” has changed my life and my children’s life in ways I never thought was possible.  He frightens me and I live in fear of him.

He’s charming and smart and knows all the right things to say in the beginning.  He’ll send you pictures of his rides and his bikes and random things that catches his eye telling you he wished you were there to share it with. He will make plans with you for adventurous travel and in the beginning will be proactive in planning dates.  He’ll make you feel you’re the only one and that he’s grateful for your support as he endures my wrath, but it’s the same story he told me about his ex wife, describing her as “unstable” and unable to move forward after their divorce.   He will tell you lie after lie and and make you feel special.  He will pretend to have insight on himself when he tells you how he failed us or what he did wrong in his marriage, but don’t let that fool you because that will only be until he receives enough validation from you to feel regulated about himself.  He isn’t capable at looking inward. He will tell you stupid little lies and huge lies.  He will omit important facts because he doesn’t believe omissions are lies.

He will make you feel like you are the only one until you least expect it and then he’ll hit you where it hurts.  Then he will ignore you because you dared to confront him and had the audacity to question him. He’ll make you feel as though you will lose him if you don’t fall in line. And, before you know it, it will be you wondering where the real you went – what happened to the confident happy person you once knew…where did she disappear to.

I don’t have any warm feelings towards his ex, but she did warn me.  At first, I thought she was “unstable” and that I was special and therefore he wasn’t going to be that way with me.  THE JOKE WAS ON ME!!!  He is everything she said he was.  An asshole, disconnected, detached, and lacks empathy. I don’t know when you started to see him but we were still “trying” until I said no more on August 5, yet he sent grateful emails and wanted to take me to my doc appointment in Baltimore, have coffee and go see a concert.  He kept it up and then poof! He said he was blocking me. He didn’t have the balls to tell me he was stopping paying for the medical bills he was responsible for and now claims I am stalking him.  Only he would assume I still want to have anything to do with the filth that he is after telling me to to “do it and put him out of his misery” when I was suicidal. Only he would think he is so wonderful that I would still want to be with him after he has caused such severe injuries that has disabled me from living my life.  Oh yeah…that’s what I want more of.  A legend in his own mind.

He needs to be in control and will do all he can to assert that control and before you know it, you’ll question your reality, never knowing when he’s going to throw you under the bus.  Stay safe…

Take care,

Vesta

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