Shame in abusive relationships

Wish I would have come across this 6 months in.

Spiritual Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse

In an abusive relationship partners are typically poles apart in how much shame they experience.

In an abusive relationship, each partner typically differs drastically in how they experience shame. If you have problems being abused in romantic relationships you very likely feel ashamed easily. This means that you feel bad about yourself easily and might be very hard on yourself if you feel you have done something wrong. This partner can be male or female. We can call this partner the “conscientious partner”.

Unlike the conscientious partner, the “shame deficient parnter” is unperturbed by the idea they might have done something wrong. This is the emotionally abusive partner in the relationship. They likely have other characteristics that make them abusive for example they might experience a lot of anger, they might be jealous, they likely have little emotive empathy and perhaps they get violent. Whatever else is going on the…

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