Step 3 in the Cycle of Abuse
Ditto! Her description of paralysis in such relationships resonated with me. I felt I was drowning and was always panicked, never knew when the next wave was going to hit me. Being with him was the most devastating thing that could have ever happened to me, but I am determined to make it into a positive. Not sure how yet, but ideas are percolating. He can go about thinking I’m still in love with him, stalking him and doing whatever it is that I’m doing. I don’t really care what he thinks or feels – This is my story. It’s my right to tell how I survived being with a man who wanted me to kill myself. It is my right to share my story and help others not feel alone. I want to work on policy – There is so much to my story that I can’t talk about yet but I plan to do everything that I can to make real changes happen so that other women don’t go through the nightmare I lived through.
*Disclaimer* I am not writing this blog for myself- I don’t need to vent, I don’t need to express emotions and I don’t need to whine about some boy- writing these things triggers me and brings back PTSD symptoms- it doesn’t benefit me at all other than letting me help other survivors relate to someone and bring awareness to those who can’t relate. I am writing this blog solely to help others and raise awareness about mental health.
Crazy-making is a term used that mostly applies to narcissists’ actions towards their victims. It can be many different forms, but mostly, it involves turning abusive situations around and blaming the victim. For example, my abusive ex would tell me that I was paranoid about him looking at other girls because I was projecting- this is an insane mind-fuck because he was projecting something onto me while blaming me for projecting things onto…
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